Movie Wednesday #3 (on a Thursday)

I’m a sucker for a good revenge flick. Especially if the protagonist is a strong female lead.

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It’s that time again kids! Today (which is now yesterday), I saw Peppermint at the local cheap-seats theater. Aside from being surprisingly uncomfortable compared to the plush recliners of the deluxe place, it was a nice bit of nostalgia. There was almost nobody there. Frankly, I’m not sure how they’re still in business; their operating costs must be absolutely minuscule. But hey, works for me, $4 movies! Let’s get to it, shall we?

Revenge is Fun to Watch

sweet sweet revenge raccoon
Revengecoon is on point.

Call me a sucker for a good revenge flick. Even more so when the protagonist is a badass woman. I don’t get into the really graphic “rape-revenge” stuff like I Spit On Your Grave and its ilk, but in general, if you’ve got a leading lady kickin’ ass and taking names to avenge some injustice done to her or her loved ones, I’m game.

And the user reviews agree with me, but the critics decidedly do not. That’s typical. Critics look at lots of deep facets of film-making, but the average audience just wants to be entertained. Are there a few moments when it’s difficult to believe the character, or the lines feel just a tad forced? Sure. Are there some bits where perhaps we stretch reality just a bit? Of course. But it’s a damn fun movie to watch, as Garner takes out one gangster or corrupt-cog-in-the-justice-machine after another.

Jennifer Garner’s Appeal

Speaking of our leading lady… I’ve never seen Alias, so you’ll forgive the lack of comparison. I did see Elektra, which, although a pretty bad movie overall, at least showed that she could convincingly play a tough action hero, even if that particular character was over-sexualized. Obviously that was 13 years ago, but her age plays well as the seasoned, slightly weather-worn mother, who can still whip herself into better shape than the cartel thugs half her age, dispense her vigilante justice, and look good while doing so.

It’s purposeful, and effective, that she does not show skin or become a sex-object at any point. That’s not what this is about, nor should it be. She’s all business, and that business is bloody, brutal, and filled with sharp objects and shotgun shells.

The Bad Guys (and their deaths)

peppermint movie still showing judge trapped
See this? This is explosive rope. It can cut through really big trees and sh*t.

One of the best parts of a revenge flick is seeing the imaginative or poetic-justice-esque ways in which the hero deals death to those that deserve it. (Yes, I’m using those terms “hero” and “deserve” loosely and in the context of the film itself, not engaging in a philosophical debate outside the world of the story.)

While some of these are lackluster, especially for an R rating, there are few that really shine. The judge, a sort of Kevin Spacey lookalike, gets it good with nails-in-the-hands and a courtroom-sized explosion. The three shooters are strung-up by their ankles on a ferris wheel, the process and lead-up to which, I feel, would have been even more interesting to watch than the end result. And there are at least a few fantastic head-shots that you’ll just want to see for yourself.

As I said, given the rating, I do think the film makers could have gone darker with some of the kills, but overall, we get what we came for. It feels very similar to Taken, for obvious reasons (same director), and that’s a good thing.

Trailers Lie

Sadly, and seemingly more often these days, the trailer showed some sequences and dialog that either didn’t make it into the movie, or misrepresented it slightly. The titular ‘Peppermint’ moment isn’t there, at least not with the same impact; and a couple of the more badass-sounding vengeance lines are diluted by too much context or a lack of ‘oomph’ in the background score.

But again, that’s Hollywood. The trailer’s job is to make you desperately want to see the movie, and they often succeed. So we can’t blame them too harshly. The film is gritty, well-made, and compares favorably with others in its genre.

Speaking of trailers, they played one for Glass, a really intriguing upcoming crossover-continuation of Unbreakable and Split, from everybody’s favorite writer-director name to purposefully mispronounce. If you haven’t seen either of those, do yourself a favor. (McAvoy is phenomenal in the latter.)

Conclusion

peppermint angel graffiti wall
I brightened this up a bit from the original. I tried to find a better one but no luck so far.

If you enjoy watching a tough female lead, seeing bad-guys get their comeuppance, and following a story through to the end, this movie is for you. Even if you’re not generally a J Garner fan; she really does well with this role, and there are no hints of her typical rom-com personality sneaking in. It’s a good solid ride with a satisfying conclusion — exactly what you want from a popcorn vengeance flick.

Til next time, readers!

Movie Wednesday #2 – The Meg

The only thing deep here is the water. But it’s good-old-fashioned shark-movie fun.

It won’t always be new movies, I promise.  I could go on for pages about such classics as The Gladiator, Independence Day, Jurassic Park, Scream, Pulp Fiction, Face/Off, Lord of the Rings, and more.  And I will, eventually.  I’m going to try out a hosted WP service with my own domain soon, and then I’ll have more freedom to draw lines in the sand between the tech stuff and the fun stuff.  But for now, you’ll have to settle for reviews of new or recent movies that we go enjoy semi-regularly at our local recliner-lined pizza-serving cineplex.

Without further ado…

Things Are What They Are

Let’s make something clear right off the bat.  This is a popcorn flick.  For those who aren’t up on the movie-goer lingo, that means it’s more or less mindless fun.  It’s CGI-infused, big-screen big-sound action, with a few recognizable faces, a few up-and-comers, and a whole gaggle of extras.  Throw in a Wilhelm Scream for good measure (fair warning: TVTropes link!).  And yes, a black guy dies first.

Statham is no stranger to this sort of film.  One might even say he’s built his entire career on them.  But most of those are more the dark, gritty, pure action flicks.  Yet he’s proven he can handle himself with the lighter, more humorous side as well.

The monster, the Megalodon, is sufficiently large and in-charge.  It menaces and mangles effectively, and even outsmarts a hapless human or two.  The premise around where and how they find this beast is mildly interesting, despite the occasional disregard for high pressure physics.

bro-do-you-even-science
Because Bill Nye will have your arse…

Who Dat?!

One of our favorite things to do with movies is to call out where we know the actors from.  Here we have Dwight from The Office, and Travis from Fear TWD — we’re supposed to believe he’s Statham’s brother, which is a pretty hard sell, unless one is adopted.  Oh, and that short-haired techie chick with the annoyingly hipster name? That’s the lead singer of ‘Evermoist’ from Pitch Perfect 3!

pitch-perfect-3-evermoist-wave
Pitch Perfect 3 – the ladies’ main rivals

Where It Hits and Misses

We get some cinematic moments of shock and awe, a few tearful goodbyes of self-sacrifice, and a handful of suspenseful close-calls.  And obviously, some big meaty carnage.

Unfortunately, the dialog falls a little flat sometimes, and the humor isn’t always snappy. Now, you’re not watching this for deep character development.  The only thing deep here is the water.  But there could have been a bit more emphasis on some key elements that would make the characters more memorable or relate-able.

Comparisons Are Fair Game

It’s quite natural to compare this to Jaws, and the many myriad of mimics that it spawned.  Obviously, this film has no such aspirations, nor does it feel the need to shove this fact down the audience’s throat. Unlike, say, Sharknado, which tries way too hard to be “so bad it’s good” that it ends up looping back around to terrible again.

Furthermore, the actors understand this, which means that, while they do take their roles somewhat seriously, they allow themselves to have fun with it.  Nobody’s trying to impress the Academy here.  And frankly, nobody’s expecting you to watch more than once. Your enjoy it for what it is, and then you walk away.

someone once said in a meeting let's make a film with a tornado full of sharks
No, let’s make SEVERAL!  Best idea EVARRR!!!1

The Verdict: one solid thumb up

Lets be honest.  You’re going to watch this because you enjoy big sharks, Jason Statham, and/or ocean-themed action-adventures / creature-features.  And you won’t be disappointed.  It’s just good-old-fashioned shark-movie fun.  Enjoy your popcorn, then go about your business.

Have fun!

Movie Review Wednesday

So I’ve Been Thinking…

Data isn’t literally everything.  I mean it is, technically, but it’s not all super happy fun times, so we need to take a break once in a while and do something less neuron-intensive.  Thus, my new segment: movie reviews!  Because, despite what you may have read, all work and no play make Nate a dull boy.  And yes, I promised you this blog would be professional.  Mostly.  I remember specifically using that word.  So don’t wag your naggy finger at me.  If you don’t like it, you can simply avoid the tags like #offtopic and #movies.

You, dear reader, may have guessed this already, but just in case you haven’t:  We watch a lot of movies.  Like, a lot.  That new red MoviePass card came out just around the same time that our local cineplex remodeled itself into a “luxury theater” with the reserved reclining seats, dining service, and all that jazz.  But besides that, when the day’s work is done and it’s time to chill, Netflix/Prime/Kodi are our M.O.’s.

Side-note, I’m running Kodi on LibreElec on a Dell micro-PC that I procured for $99 a few Black Friday’s ago.  It’s puny by PC standards, but beefy by media-stick/RPi standards, so it works pretty well.  We’re finding that our WiFi isn’t always quite up to the task of steadily streaming 1080p, but… meh.  It’s generally usable.  It serves up movies from my 3TB spinning-rusts on the circa-2014 gaming PC via Plex, which is a phenomenal app for the modern moviephile — if you haven’t checked it out, do it.

Let’s Get To It!

Back on topic.  Off topic, I mean.  We recently saw The Spy Who Dumped Me.  I was excited for this movie as soon as I saw the poster: Mila Kunis and Kate McKinnon.  Need I say more?  Not really, but I will, because that’s presumably why you’re reading.  I mean, I could watch these two actresses do just about anything for 2 hours.  Let alone a buddy-action-comedy about international intelligence intrigue gone awry.

I first loved McKinnon in the Ghostbusters reboot, where she, no disrespect to the rest of the phenomenal cast, stole the show.  That was a super fun movie too.  (I’m not an SNL guy, though her Hillary impersonation was superb.)  And Kunis, I’ve loved since she took over the voice of Meg in Family Guy.  It didn’t hurt when the wife said she had a girl crush on her too.

This is somewhat of a directorial debut from Susanna Fogel (she has some credits, but nothing blockbuster-worthy, as far as I can tell), and it hits a lot of good notes.  The acting is solid — especially, obviously, the two leads — the action believable, the punchlines not overly cheesy, the character development realistic, and the twists compelling, if a bit predictable.

The one notable gripe I have is the completely random and unnecessary bit of male nudity.  And it’s not that I’m a prude; nudity can have its place in movies, if it serves a purpose.  Look at Forgetting Sarah Marshall — very similar to this instance, technically, but its purpose was clearly to emphasize the point of the character’s vulnerability and shamelessness.  Contrasted to here, where it’s just some dude that Kate’s character hooked up with who turns out to be the first of dozens of agents to try to kill the duo in pursuit of the elusive “flash drive of doom” (which, surprisingly, is not yet a TvTropes trope, but I feel like it should be).  There was literally no point.

Anyway.

On the whole, the movie was excellent — a fun ride through Europe on the tails of two hapless yet confident, inexperienced yet tough, and sometimes supremely lucky ladies who go toe-to-toe with agents of CIA, MI6, and the big scary Russian Mafia.  We see these amazingly close best friends overcome frightening odds and tense situations by sticking together and encouraging each other, which is pretty awesome if you think about it.  There’s a lot of negativity thrown around these days, whether it’s in the name of politics, social movements, or otherwise.  Even your standard male buddy-cop movie usually hinges on the guys’ “banter” of tearing each other down (even in jest), and rarely does it truly bring out the best elements of their character.

Speaking of characters, the chemistry of these two women is top-notch.  They’re different, to be sure, but it works in their favor.  McKinnon is obviously more extroverted; “a little much” as someone tells her derogatorily, but that’s why we love her.  Kunis is of course more subtle; coy, yet never a damsel in distress.  One of the best bits of dialog in the movie, I think, comes from McKinnon’s positively bursting joy at seeing the head of MI6 is in fact a woman, who “hasn’t sacrificed one ounce of femininity!” (Gillian Anderson, of course, being very familiar with the role of an intelligence officer).

Now, I will normally try to avoid spoilers.  Today I will simply tease that yes, while Kunis ends up falling for a guy, he’s proven worthy, and there’s no reason to fault her for it.  If anything, it keeps us grounded in reality.  Of course that reality quickly turns fantasy again in the “post ending”, but that’s for you to enjoy.

The Verdict

Highly recommended, two thumbs up.

Happy Hump Day!  Now go watch some movies.  Preferably this one.  But hey, I ain’t the boss of you.  Do your thing.  And stay tuned for more!

Movie Reviews and the Killer Database Collation

If you have a core database using a different collation than the rest of the DBs around it, BAD THINGS HAPPEN.

And we’re back!  Hi folks, thanks for being patient with my December hiatus.  The holiday season is always a little hectic but this year it felt especially sudden.  And hey, you all have better things to do than read a blog in between the home cooked meals and the family gatherings.. like sleep, shop, and go see all the new movies!

Thanks to both Pitch Perfect 3 and the latest New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, Britney’s “Toxic” is now stuck in my head, so that’s fun.

britney-stewardess-toxic
I think I’m ready now… for 2018.

Some of you may not know this, but I’m a big movie nerd.  Not like the weird “knows a bunch of obscure factoids about all the Tarantino movies” or whatever.  But I do quite enjoy the behind-the-scenes / making-of stuff — what used to be called “bonus features” on DVDs (remember those things??) — whenever the wife will tolerate sitting thru them with me.

Our genre of choice is generally horror.  Now, I’m gonna get nerdy on you for a bit; because there are several sub-types or horror, and I enjoy almost almost all of them.  Campy, creepy, fun, found-footage, gory, spooky, slasher, supernatural, tense, psychological, revenge, deconstruction, possession.  For the uninitiated, “deconstruction” is like 2012’s Cabin in the Woods — it pokes fun at the tropes while building on them in unique ways.  Those are one of my favorite kind; that one in particular is definitely in my top 10 all-time.

So to kick off this year, before diving back into the technical stuff, I’d like to give you a coupe lightning reviews of some horror movies that we’ve watched that are perhaps underrated or you may have missed.

  • The Babysitter (2017) – comedy/deconstruction. A young preteen boy, whose parents are gone a lot, has a great friendship with his older teen babysitter, but one night decides to spy on what she and her friends do after he goes to bed. And well, crap hits the fan.  Lots of fun, eye candy, and slapstick violence. 👍👍
  • Patchwork (2015) – campy/revenge. 3 girls are Frankenstein’d together and have to overcome their mental differences and physical struggles to piece together the perpetrator and hopefully exact some revenge. Superbly acted by the lead lady, plenty of violence and just enough funny bits to keep it going. 👍
  • Happy Death Day (2017) – slasher/deconstruction. Think Groundhog Day but with a college chick being killed by a masked marauder repeatedly.  She must try to find out who it is before it’s too late!  Somewhat predictable but still entertaining and engaging. 👍
  • Incarnate (2016) – possession/supernatural. A somewhat unique twist on the genre, a brain doc frees people from possession by mind-sharing & getting the person back in control of their own consciousness.  Think Inception meets Exorcist.  Very well-acted, convincingly scary demon, and nicely twisted ending. 👍👍
  • Demonic (2015) – creepy/found-footage. Bit of a misnomer, as it has nothing to do with demons; it’s about a ghost-summoning gone horribly wrong resulting in the deaths of all but 1 (ish?) member of the group that originally attempted said ritual.  Frank Grillo is always on-point.  Very engaging. 👍
  • Last Shift (2014) – gory/creepy/demon-y. Rookie cop gets stuck with the last watch in a soon-to-be-shut-down police station, chaos ensues.  Literally, this is some crazy crap; scary and bloody.  Original & vastly under-hyped, has an indie vibe but looks & feels professional-grade. 👍👍

Most of these should be stream-able.  So check ’em out!

Now on to the SQL stuff.

A not equal a
borrowed from the man himself, Pinal Dave =)

Collations are Hard

If you ever have to integrate a vendor database into your existing environment, and the vendor ‘mandates’ their DB use a certain collation (which differs from the rest of your SQL instances / databases), run away screamingSrsly.

Or convince your managers that you know better, and force it into the same collation as everything else you have to integrate with.  Good luck & godspeed.

Let me give you an example.  The ERP system is being upgraded, which of course means a new (upgraded) DB as well.  Part of this upgrade seems to involve supporting case-sensitive searching/matching against name fields.  To this end, the vendor insists that the DB should use a case-sensitive collation, namely ​Latin1_General_100_CS_AS.  Problem is, the rest of your DB environment, in which a lot of stuff touches the ERP database (via joins, linked-server queries, etc.), uses the SQL default collation of SQL_Latin1_General_CP1_CI_AS.

If you follow the vendor’s mandate recommendation, guess what’s going to happen to your queries/views/stored-procedures that touch this & other DBs?  Horrible things.  Terrible performance degradation.  Wailing a gnashing of teeth from the developers, business users, and customers.

Okay, I exaggerate.  Slightly.

But it really does hurt performance, and I don’t feel like it’s talked about enough in the data professional community.  In the next post, I’ll take this problem apart a little more and try to impart some of what I’ve learned from going through the pain of dealing with the aforementioned example.

Happy 2018!

PS: Apparently this is my 50th post!!  Go me!  :o)

50-cent-face-on-50-dollar-bill
fiddy. fiddy posts.